Compliments

It’s absolutely perfect that compliments was the tool card for this week. I recently reminded my husband how important it is for me to receive compliments from him and to be told how much I’m appreciated.  I know I never get tired of hearing how beautiful or wonderful I am. Or what a great Mother and wife I am. Doesn’t every woman like to hear these sorts of compliments?  When I hear these compliments, I instantly feel better about myself and therefore want to be and do even better. After all, I was raised with Positive Discipline parents that were full of compliments and appreciations. I even had the opportunity to hear them from my brother once a week during our family meetings.

Following are some examples I used this week, which I believe helped our family be more peaceful and cooperative.

One of the things that instantly make me lose my cool and “flip my lid” is when my boys fight. Fortunately, they give me opportunities daily to practice many Positive Discipline tools. This morning they were playing really well together. But, I knew it was only a matter of time before they’d start arguing. So before they did, I complimented them by saying, “Look at how nice you boys are playing together!” “I really appreciate it.”  I went on to say, “Greyson, I love how nicely you are speaking to your brother, and how patient and calm you are being with him.” And to Reid, “I notice how well you’re working with your brother—what great teamwork.”

Another situation that invites me to lose my cool is getting out the door without having to nag them several times. Again this morning, because they were having so much fun playing together and having their morning dance party, I set the timer for 20 minutes. I “asked” them all the things they would need to do to be ready to go before the timer went off. Surprisingly, they named off a few more things than I was thinking—what a bonus! Naturally, they waited until the last 5-minutes before they made a mad dash to beat the buzzer. I was sure to use compliments by stating how “quickly they were cleaning up” and “how fast they were getting dressed.” I then went on to ask if they thought they’d be able to brush their teeth and comb their hair within 3-minutes? When they did—I told them how much I appreciated it and how excited I was for the day we had planned together.

The best thing about compliments is that when you give them to your children, you’re also teaching them how to give them back. Selfishly, just as I had reminded my husband how important it was for me to feel appreciated and to hear compliments—I now get to look forward to my two boys giving me compliments too—yahoo!!