Tonight I experienced why it is so
important to get Eye to Eye with my child when trying to communicate.
The boys and I (6 ½-year-old
Greyson and 4 ½-year-old Reid) were enjoying our Friday evening with a Red Box
movie. We were having our typical movie treats (popcorn and ice cream).
While we were all lying on the
couch, Reid decided to help himself to some orange juice. On one hand, I was
happy to have my 4-year-old son helping himself to a drink when he was thirsty.
On the other hand, I was annoyed that he had poured himself a full cup of juice
right before bed.
I turned my head to acknowledge him
and what he had poured and gave him a little lecture about how he should have
chose water since it was right before bed and how I didn’t want him to pee his
bed and have all that sugar etc.
Naturally, I expected him to think—“You’re absolutely right Mom!” Yeah right. He just continued to pound it until it was almost gone when I firmly said, “Reid, stop drinking that juice!” He obviously did not like how I was speaking to him—who would?
To
my surprise, he got right in my face and shouted at me, “OK MOM!”
I was so upset, and I felt so
disrespected! I told him he was done watching the movie and that he needed to
go upstairs and go to bed.
By
his response and my immediate realization, we both apologized and said we
wanted to try again. What I learned from this moment was that if I had actually
gotten up off the couch, and looked at Reid Eye to Eye while explaining all my
concerns about his drink of choice; he would have heard me. If I had used a
respectful and calm tone, he would have felt respected.
Of course, I realized all this
after I messed up. Reid melted and crushed my heart at the same time when he
told me, “I just don’t like it when you yell at me.”
Once again, mistakes are wonderful
opportunities to learn!